💍 I’m ENGAGED!

Does this mean I have to start acting like a grown up? 🤪

Sep 14, 2023

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Picture this:

You’ve been dating this guy for four years. He’s a really awesome guy. Tall, dark, and handsome. Athletic build, tattoos, and muscles. He’s a sommelier. A mixologist. Talented in the kitchen, playful and competitive. Treats you like a goddess. Makes you his priority. (And saved your life that one time you almost died on the toilet, but that’s a story for another day…)

He shares your beliefs, values, and morals yet comes from a different walk of life, which makes every day with him an ever-evolving dance of discovery as you learn and grow from one another. He is the yin to your yang, and even his family has already accepted you as their daughter-to-be. (Plus, your own mother has made it no secret he’s her favorite child.)

So… why hasn’t he asked you to marry him yet?!

It’s fine. I mean, you’re clearly meant for each other. It’s so obvious that everyone seems to mention it whenever you go anywhere together. You’ve already discussed baby names and which of you will be able to recruit your future kids to their pranking efforts first. (It’s not even a question that he’ll have taught the youngins how to prank you before they’ve learned to walk. He’s very confident about this. And way too excited. *God help you*)

But what if he’s waiting to pop that question because he’s still not sure if you’ll say yes?

No, that can’t be it. You’re sure you received the notification that he opened the link to your engagement ring Pinterest board, which you “accidentally” sent him. Plus, you’ve remained strictly dedicated to your bi-weekly casual mentioning that if he asked you to marry him you’d definitely say yes. (Like, definitely.)

You’ve left him no reason to think you wouldn’t say yes.

After much “hinting” by you, and a handful of missed opportunities by him, you doubtfully start to wonder if perhaps you’ve misjudged the situation. You begin to worry that your hints have been too weak. One night, your pent-up distress comes out as a bit of cheeky sass.

“You know what would make this picture even more awesome?” you ask, referring to a super cute pic of the two of you in which your left hand rests casually on his chest. “A sparkly piece of jewelry right on this finger here…”

The smirk tugging at the corner of his lips draws your attention, and you realize he has a devilish twinkle in his eye.

You gasp dramatically as understanding hits you like a ten-pound bag of engagement rings!

He’s playing a game with you. It’s called, How long can he push your patience before it’s you that gets down on one knee?

Not only is he winning (after all, you’ve finally cracked and given him not just a thinly veiled hint, but full-on sass), but now he thinks he’s got you on the verge of begging!

Oh, it’s on.

He knows you know he knows, which means it’s time to turn the sass level up.

Now every picture of your naked left hand becomes an opportunity to remind him that a sparkly piece of jewelry would look marvelous on your slender ring finger. (“What kind of jewelry?” He always asks in reply, feigning confusion with that telltale smirk.) Every time you hold hands, your grip tightens a little extra tight on his ring finger, to which he replies with a scratch on your ring finger and a deadpan facial expression when you excitedly jump in surprise. And every time you’re sitting next to each other on the couch, you angle your phone just enough so that he can glimpse the newest additions to your “wedding dress” Pinterest board…

After an eternity of waiting, it’s clear he has the patience of a sloth in line at the DMV and can hold out much longer than you. You reluctantly accept defeat (which, in this case, simply means accepting that you’ll have to be patient). You know full well he is your person and that as much as you want to make it legally official right now, you’ll get to it when he’s well and ready to get to it.

Plus, if you’re planning on being together forever, what’s the rush in getting married anyway? (You choose to believe your own lies in an effort to quell the growing anticipation in your gut. It barely works, but you pretend for your own sanity’s sake.)

THEN ONE FATEFUL DAY…

… your man plans a trip to picturesque Napa Valley, CA, and invites your parents. He packs a suitcase full of champagne and books a top-tier tasting at your favorite winery. You pack your best clothes and some lipstick (just in case), while at the same time thinking nothing of it. After all, there were many other trips to beautiful places that came and went without any special questions asked. What makes you think this trip might be any different? (Not the fact that he invited your parents or packed champagne which we only drink to celebrate things. Definitely not the top-tier experience he reserved for you at your all-time favorite winery!)

Regardless, off you trot to Napa Valley, playing off your hopeful engagement-related excitement as an eagerness to get toasted in the name of broadening your wine pallet. You’re so committed to acting casual and NOT IN ANY WAY ONTO HIM that you act as if a proposal at this time would be out of the question. In fact, you’re trying so hard not to ruin the surprise that you even go so far as to joke about the situation with him and your parents at dinner.

“I didn’t even bother to paint my nails because this trip is about WINE, not engagements! Ha. Haha…” *gulp*

He smirkily nods from across the table, all the while driving your nerves up the wall.

Is he just being extra smooth under pressure, or did you misinterpret the “signs?”

The more you actually look at your man and get out of your own head, the more you realize perhaps you’ve been making this trip into something more than it ever was intended to be.

Maybe he’s not going to propose after all.

You know what? You’re hyper-focused on the topic of engagement. Perhaps you should let it go for the sake of enjoying this awesome trip your man planned for you.

The next day you try very hard not to think about rings or engagement, or the fact that your typically decisive and focused man suddenly seems a bit absentminded, which strikes you as suspicious.

Regardless, you swipe on your favorite lipstick (just in case) and head out the door, leaving all thoughts of engagement in your hotel room.

You manage to remain engagement-brain free all day… until you arrive at your favorite winery. The one you were previously convinced he’d ask you to marry him at.

You momentarily panic at the thought of this potentially being the moment. You shoot your man a quick assessment glance. He’s sitting as far away from you as possible and focusing intently on the floral notes of the wine.

Yeah… There’s no way it’s happening today.

You’re struck by a double-edged sword. On one hand, you’re slightly disappointed after all the mental gymnastics you’ve put yourself through. On the other hand, you’re relieved. Now you can finally let this go and enjoy being in the moment.

You let your emotions wash away with a sip of your favorite wine. The view is stunning. Your parents are loving the experience, and your man smiles at you lovingly. You realize this is what it’s all about. Being present. Being in the moment with the people you love. Being grateful for every step of the way in your relationship. Even if you never get married— even if he never asks that question—sharing special moments like this and living your life together is all you truly want. (And you really do mean it. No joke… maybe it’s the wine.)

“Cheers,” you say with a glass of red held high. You feel oddly free now that the “e” word has left your conscience.

“To letting me be part of the family,” your man adds with a special nod to your parents across the table.

Wait. What?

He pulls out a gorgeous diamond ring (Pinterest board approved).

Your man looks into your soul with teary eyes. He starts to speak and his voice cracks. He clears his throat and says, “You’re my person.”

A thousand thoughts surge through your head. Every “sign” leading up to this moment flashes once again behind your eyes, but now from a whole new perspective, rendering you completely speechless.

Your voice finally catches up to your brain…

“I feel like such an ass!”

The man of your dreams lets out a relieved chuckle, followed by a look of total adoration. “I love you,” he says, pulling you close.

“I love you, too, my fiancé.”

You spend the rest of the day in total shock, constantly glancing between your gorgeous ring and your person. He is everything you ever wanted and so much more than you realized you needed. It’s not until you get back to the hotel room after a long day of celebratory tastings, exhausted to the bone, that you finally break down and cry.

“I LOVE YOU,” you sob through happy, heavy tears.

You spend the next week gazing at your ring, introducing everyone to your new fiancé, and floating around on your own personal Cloud 9.

The moment you return home, you sit down to write a funny story about getting engaged for your subscribers.