Over the Top Secret - Chapter 27

AKA Puke Breath

You’re reading Over the Top Secret, a zany spy adventure! Subscribe to get new chapters delivered to your inbox. Thanks for reading!

Start at the beginning (Prologue - AKA Mission Report)

Read the previous chapter (Chapter 26 - AKA Look Before You Fall)

Read the next chapter (Chapter 28 - AKA Triggered by the Trash Man)

Paid subscribers: listen to this week’s exclusive audio chapter in The Giggler Podcast, here!

---

---

A million thoughts fly through my head in the brief time it takes me to fall from the helicopter.

Firstly, this is the second time I’ve jumped from a flying vehicle, and yet I still have no idea how to do this. I decide the flying squirrel method probably isn’t a good idea in this situation, as I’d like to not break every limb. I curl into a cannonball (less surface area). 

Secondly, is that the Eiffel tower? It’s difficult to see through my flapping tendrils of hair. The glare of the sun on the water below me isn’t helping either. It sure looks like a pointed building. There’s really no way to know for sure, I suppose. Nevertheless, I take a small amount of joy from the thought that maybe I did get to see it after all.

And thirdly, I put The Backup in my pocket, right? ‘Cuz, if I survive this fall and it isn’t in my pocket, I might just kill myself before Eric can kill me. I should have double-checked.

A surge of energy erupts behind me as the missile hits the helicopter, sending it into a giant ball of flames on impact. The wave of heat and sound pushes me further toward the glistening water below. The explosion paints everything orange for a brief moment. It’s oddly quiet and almost serene.

Until Eric flies right past me on his boat, allowing me to smack into the cold water at a hundred miles an hour.

I surge ten feet below the surface, thankfully still intact (the cannonball method apparently works!). The temperature shocks me back to life. I scramble to reach the surface before my lungs burst. I gulp down air and a bit of the Seine water as soon as I ascend. 

A screeching sound reverberates through the air. I turn to witness the helicopter burst apart, sending multiple chunks of metal in all directions with an immense amount of force. 

The propeller blade spins toward me and lands not even three inches to my right. I silently Thank God for not decapitating me today.

In front of me, Eric and Greyson continue to battle it out on Eric’s boat. I wonder if this is why movies have cut scenes? This fighting part sure does take a long time. Greyson is covered in flames once again, yet he moves like he isn’t bothered by it in the slightest. Maybe his skin really is made of rubber. Their fighting is cut short when a giant hunk of twisted, flaming metal shoots right at them. It narrowly misses Eric and catches on the top half of Greyson’s body, taking the large man down into the water with it.

Whew.

All the normal sounds come back to me one at a time. The water lapping at the edges of the Seine. My own shallow breathing (pre-hypothermia perhaps?). An engine revving as Eric turns his boat around for me.

Could he move any slower? I signal for him to hurry up. He grunts.

Eric bends over the edge with an outstretched hand and grabs my upper arm, yanking me up out of the water. 

But I’m a bit heavier than he expected.

We tumble onto the deck, and I land right on top of him, smacking his bottom lip with my forehead once more.

Except for this time, I don’t have a helmet, so it hurts me, too. 

“Uuuhhh…” I groan. 

We lie there a moment, breathless and panting before having my body sprawled across his becomes awkward.

I jump back to my feet and wipe the water from my eyes.

“Where is it?” he asks with his annoyingly demanding voice.

“Where’s what?” I feign confusion.

It works.

Eric practically bursts into flames. “The Backup.”

I make a scrunched-up face. “Ooh, yeah. I almost had it. But then you shot a missile at me and told me to jump. So that’s what I did.”

He goes almost apoplectic. “You had the opportunity to get the one thing that could turn your life back to normal, and you let it slip through your fingers?”

“Who said I want to go back to my normal life?”

This really catches him off guard. He can’t even hide his confusion.

“What if I want to be a spy?” I continue.

He snorts.

“Now I know you’re joking,” he says. “I’ll admit, it’s a miracle you survived this long, but there’s no way you’d choose a life outside your little bubble.”

I cock my hip to the side. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He takes a step closer. “It means you’re an uptight goody two shoes, and as soon as you give me that Backup, we won’t have to pretend you’re necessary anymore.” He holds his hand out.

Damn. He knows I have it.

“But Eric,” I say with a smirk. “I am The McGuffin. You said so yourself. I am the almighty, the goddess divine ruler of your strange T.O.P.S.E.C.R.E.T. world.”

“Just give me The Backup,” he says, unmoving.

“Why? Once you have it, you’ll just leave me behind again.”

“Is that what this is about?” He scoffs. “I’d leave you right here in the Seine if it meant securing the fate of The McGuffin.”

I swat my hand at his face, aiming for the perfect slap. And it really would be the ideal slap, except he grabs my arm mid-swing. 

Damn it.

Instead of tossing me aside, Eric pulls me closer. He looks deep into my eyes. My breath hitches, and it’s not from the cold. 

Sirens fill the air around us. Is he going to kiss me? I’ve never been kissed. But I suppose Paris would be the best place of any to have a first kiss. 

He reaches his other hand around my waist, slowly feeling my lower back. I hope he can’t also feel my heart beating like a friggin’ jackhammer. He leans almost imperceptibly closer to me. I close my eyes, preparing for kissage. He seductively traces the outline of my butt pocket… 

And pulls out The Backup.

“Gotcha,” he says with a wink. I can’t even hide the shock on my face.

“You are such a jerk.” I’d stomp my foot, but it’d just make me look more like a child. So, I sigh dramatically instead. Eric makes a sour face.

“Your breath smells like puke.” 

---

👀 Watcha thinking?! Let me know in the comments…