Plot Twists, Protagonists, and the Free Fall

Finding the Story in the Chaos

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New Subscribers: Welcome to The Giggler! We’re on a never-ending quest for amusement and unadulterated fun here. Sometimes, my newsletters contain ridiculous short stories to make you chuckle. Sometimes, I share updates from my life as a voice actress and writer; other times, it’s all about my adventures in learning to draw. Today is a different kind of post. It’s getting real up in here! Thank you for reading.

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Hey Gigglers!

I meant to have something to send you last Thursday, but my life has been a total roller coaster. I’ve been struggling with how much of this real-world adventure to share with you because I’m a very private person. A lot of what my fiancé and I have been going through has been heavy, scary stuff. Plus, The Giggler is a place for laughter and fun. I don’t want to deviate from our quest here! However, as I look back on everything, I realize—I’ve had my own protagonist character arc unfolding right here in real life.

See, when you’re a beginner writer, you tend to avoid putting your protagonist in any real danger. Maybe it’s because we are afraid to let them get hurt or experience pain because then we’ll have to write about it and go through it with them! LOL, I’m not sure why. But as you become a better writer, you realize that you have to put your characters through hell because that’s how they learn, grow, and level up to become the heroes they’re meant to be by the end of the story! You can’t get tough if everything’s all hunky dory. Well, the same idea applies in real life. These last six months have challenged me in ways that have forced me to become stronger. As a result, my entire perspective on life has changed. It was like I’d been seeing the world through a filter that had the brightness turned up so high, everything felt a little washed out. It was all one note. Does that make sense? Then everything my fiancé and I have been going through forced some intense contrast into the picture and suddenly, I can see the beautiful, deeper shades of every color. Darkness can feel impossible to accept when you’re in the middle of it, but with a little distance, you might see it serves a purpose. It brings balance and helps us truly appreciate the light.

Anyways. I’ll try to give you a brief update without going into the sad, scary details. I’ll try to put a fun spin on it. Let’s see how I do…

The week started with a diagnosis that felt like a death sentence.

Not directly mine, but it may as well have been. We’re in this together, and suddenly, everything about our future shifted. We saw it coming for a few months and thus felt at least a little prepared. However, it was still a terrifying, depressing experience to have doctors not know how to help, only offering advice to “get your affairs in order.” Thankfully, God gave me a creative Energizer Bunny Brain. My Energizer Bunny brain kicked in—questioning everything, refusing to accept that this was the end. Not by a long shot.

I dove into research, reading hundreds of articles, books, and medical documents and reaching out to friends in the medical world with questions and a plea for help. It was terrifying, and my fiancé and I fought our hardest to stay in control. Still, when you’re faced with something that distills our existence into life or death, it makes you realize just how not in control we are. It makes you understand what matters and what you can let go of. It wasn’t until I gave it up to God and rediscovered my faith on a deeper level that the path forward started to open up. I stopped thinking about myself, asking for what I wanted and started wondering why I was here and what I was supposed to do with my life. I reconnected with source and felt a massive shift within me. Once I focused on what God wants and whatever He put me here to do, I discovered some answers and hope. I asked God to lead us toward doctors who think outside the box and respect God’s creations and the body’s ability to heal itself.

Just like that, almost like a plot twist, came the second opinion that cracked open a door we didn’t know existed.

A coalition of doctors doing incredible work and breaking free of conventional thinking led us to a discovery that could change everything. It may be nothing, but it may be huge. The only way to know is to continue on this crazy adventure. We formulated a plan and jumped right in, eager to discover anything, anything, with the potential to help. It’s too soon to tell if the change we’ve felt is because of our newfound hope or if things are starting to improve. Still, either way, it’s a welcome change in tone from how things have been going the last year or so!

And just when we caught our breath… the universe yanked the rug out again!

A letter from the landlord strong-arming us to either agree to a BIG increase in rent or get out within two weeks. (We had five days to respond.) This is where things get somewhat humorous again. See, we’ve felt stuck in a cycle of struggle for years. Everything has felt like an uphill battle, regardless of the progress made. Then, this letter shows up in the middle of the worst possible timing and pulls the rug out from under us. But maybe it wasn’t the rug… Perhaps it was the starting pistol. I know I’ve changed profoundly because this kind of news in the past would have sent cortisol racing through my veins. But when the message in that letter sunk in, excitement ran through me. It was a blessing, a clear-as-day sign from God that it was time to LIVE and go on a real-world adventure. You can’t wait for life to be perfect, for the exact right circumstances to live. You have to seize the day and JUMP into the free fall. You’ve gotta enjoy the skydiving—because flailing and screaming all the way down just seems like a waste of the view. LOL!

And now I have truly transformed into Luffy from One Piece. HA.

We’re deep in the thick of it right now, but I’m feeling everything deeper than I’ve ever let myself feel things before. Though our lives are in the air, and we’re not quite sure exactly where we will land, we’re soaking up the free fall. I can genuinely say I don’t know what my life will look like in a week, but for the first time ever (and just like Julie Richardson from Over the Top Secret), I don’t have a plan, and it’s making me feel alive.

Until next time,
Alexa (AKA The Giggler)

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